That’s Captain Melo to you, foreign bitches
This has nothing to do with 30 Day LA, but I just thought I'd share why I call myself Captain Melo. First, a little background info on me. I really like basketball. Before I started on this reinventing myself by doing new things everyday fad, I played basketball almost every day. I don't talk write about basketball because it's not something new when I do it all the time. But I spend a lot of time watching basketball, reading about basketball, and playing basketball. I'm addicted. I even like the Clippers. There's several basketball players I enjoy watching and rooting for. Unfortunately, Carmelo Anthony is not one of them, despite the fact that he is my NBA doppleganger.
Carmelo Anthony has just been named a co-captain of Team USA Basketball for the 2006 FIBA World Championships, along with LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. If I were 6 foot 8 and 230 pounds and vaguely black looking, the professional basketball player I would most resemble is Carmelo Anthony. From his ball-hogging, reckless slashing, shaky jump-shooting ways right down to how he looks like a chubby eighteen year old girl with a faint trace of facial hair.
From now on, I will talk as though I’m actually Carmelo Anthony, just poor and short. By the way, if I blew that layup it’s because that monstrous Neanderthal-looking Chinaman scared the shit out of me.