The End Draws Near
As my thirty days are winding down, I find myself unable to determine if the project was a success. Most of my entries were about the things I did and the people I saw. I wish I had spent more time processing my thoughts and feelings on the experiences I had. Even though I did technically succeed in doing something new everyday, I spent more time going to new places instead of having completely new experiences. I could have gone to yoga class, spent a day talking out of my ass to everyone I saw instead of being mostly quiet, or saw a therapist. You know, the quintessential LA experience. I still have a list of things that I don’t think I’ll get to by the end of this week, but I will make sure to accomplish them in the next month. And I also have a big list of things I know I’ll be doing again throughout the rest of my life.
My biggest question is if I’ve gotten what I wanted out of Thirty Day LA. I definitely have expanded my breadth of experiences. If anyone ever asks me what to do on any given night, I’ll have plenty of ideas to offer instead of saying "I dunno." I have gotten to know my own neighborhood of the Westside much better, and even ventured to areas as far east as Pasadena. It’s a good beginning to exploring the vastness of LA. However, I haven’t grown out of my comfort zone as much as I've wanted to. Due to lack of planning or creativity, I didn’t do many things that would place me in unknown territory. I never felt the thrill of surrendering myself to my surroundings. For the most part, I insulated myself in my little bubble. Maybe it’s something I’ve built up over the years as a necessity to surviving in LA, but I didn’t get to get out of it as much I wanted to.
I need to focus on stepping out of the boundaries I created for myself when this week ends. It’s what I’ve always needed to do. I’ll use these past few weeks as a starting point for me to move beyond the stagnancy that has consumed my life for the past few years. I will make sure all I’ve experienced this month will not go to waste. One thing I’m just starting to realize is that there are so many opportunities that come my way everyday. At any moment I could meet a new friend, help someone in need, or make my own life better. I’ve been so consumed with my own thoughts of worry and fear that I never had the presence of mind to seize those opportunities. It always seemed so hard to do. I know now that all it takes is a little courage.
There will be failures and disappointments, but I won’t let them bog me down anymore. Just gotta keep hustling. If I do, only then will I know if Thirty Day LA was successful.