The Beginning
DAY 1: My Date with Me
Today's Fear: People's perception of who I am
For the past few years of my life I have been afraid to pursue my interests alone. Unless im moving with a group Im always overthinking the implications of what I am doing until I end up doing nothing at all. I hardly ever run with my impulses to pursue the things that I am interested in; without deliberating the implications of every action that I take. As sad I am to admit I often stop myself from taking action because of how I perceive people will judge the things that I do.
Three years ago I made plans, and was really excited, to visit every single restuarant on citysearch's best of LA list. A hard feet to accomplish and something I wasnt prepared to do alone. That week I visited two restaurants then decided to call it a day.
As we all know Los Angeles is full of amazing restaurants, and LA just like most cities is also full of things that are usually done in groups (or at least I perceive that they are). I had very little desire to become that old man you see sitting alone at Canter's every day from 12-2 or the creepy soup drinking man at Swingers. But really I wasnt going to get anywhere If I was concerned about that sort of stuff. In order to move forward I was ready to finally treat myself to a romantic night on the town by myself (I realize this sentence could easily be misinterpreted).
Monday night it was time for me to call up what citysearch listed as the best fine dining/romantic restaurant in town, get dressed to impress, and honestly stop caring about what people think and run with my impulses. I decided it was important to call up a restaurant (La Dolce Vita) that was supposedly only frequented by couples on dates and hope to ignore any feelings of akwardness.
When I left for la dolce vita I was already preparing a back story to tell the waiters about why I was eating alone. It seemed that I was already trying to make excuses for myself and worrying about the awkwardness, and defeating the whole purpose of the outing. When I got to the restaurant the only people there were couples (as expected). I was ready to take a seat surrounded by three couple when the manager told me that the kitchen was closed. I tried my best to win him over with stories of how I had been reading abouth his restaurant for years and just wanted something small to eat, but to no luck (I'm a bad liar). Apparently expensive/pretentious restaurants in Beverly Hills have the right to close whenever they want if they arent getting enough business. I was ready to give up and begin 30 dayla the next day, but the manager referred me to the restaurant next door so I decided tio give it a shot. Unfortunately the same thing happened there.
I tried one more restaurant called Da Vinci that I had never heard of and had little hope for. Surprisingly it had exactly what I was looking for (couples on dates and an overpriced menu). I was ready to get slapped in the face by akwardness. Once I started eating though I completely stopped caring. It didnt matter that the waiting staff checked on me three times to make sure I didnt get stood up and the that couple in the table next to me kept staring for most of the night. The food was amazing and that was all I was looking for.
Im usually pretty antisocial with new people but I decided to take advantage of my night alone by forcing myself to converse with the manager and my waitor. We had long conversations about our lives in New York (yes I did make up most of my backstory) and the current state of LA, going through all of the changes we would like to see. By the time I left I was the only one in the restaurant. At the end of the day I just felt like ridiculous for thinking the night would be awkward and uncomfortable. The combition of the food and the conversations made it one of the best meals of my life.
The first day of 30dayla showed that things can turn out way different than you had initally planned but still be amazing. Hopefully my years of waiting three years before I act on my desires are over.
Day 2 Preview after the jump
While day one did push me outside of my comfort zone, I hadnt really take a dramatic risk with my own life. But I knew tommorow would bring that. I went to bed that night making the decision that I was gonna tell me boss that I needed to be paid double what I was making now or I would be leaving my job.