Thirty Day LA

Since 30 Day LA is dedicated to be being out and about in the city, there's very little time to blog about it...so, I'll give you just the highlights of each new thing I did in LA, for your reading pleasure.

Day 4
It was a Thursday night filled with Kim Chi, meat, friends and fun. Manna in Koreatown may be one of the few korean restaurants that I know that gives you tons of meat and Kim Chi minus those worthless overly long spoons and metal bowls that you can never pick up if there's hot food in it because the heat will burn your hand. Plus, I got to have dinner with some Hollywood bigwigs. If you ever want to meet the guy from the Axe commercial, I'll have my people call your people.

Day 5
You can't avoid the club scene and booty shorts for too long in LA. So, I got suckered into throwing on a gold dress and platform shoes to party it up with the pretty girls at Sugar. So, before I left for the club, I asked my friend what I should do to make myself more approachable and respected by other Los Angelinos. Her response was to tell people that I was Julia Roberts' nanny. Four years of college, three years of law school, 6 months for passing the Bar and all I had to do to get respect in LA was wipe poop from Julia Roberts' baby's butt. What a City. But it did work, cause after that conversation, I had the confidence I needed to mingle with the clubbing LA crowd...and then I met a dude in porn. Nice.

Day 6
Day 6 was met with trepidation and hesitation after booty shorts and porn stars the night before. But it turned out to be not just fun, but way more fun than I could handle. A few friends invited me out to Citizen Smith where the drinks are stiff and the music is old school rock. The highlight was when I ventured to the bathroom and discovered that the sink had offerings of not just candies of different colors splashed with diry-hand water, but cigarettes! Cigarettes sold by the single!! wow, cause sometimes, after washing your hands, you feel like a smoke. I know I did. A good time was had by all.

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Day 2

For my second day LA, I decided that I would become a true Los Angelino and adopt a foul attitude with stunner shades and hot lip gloss. To kick off my new day with my new LA attitude, I pulled out my lipgloss and hair pins and decided that I would do any non-self-respecting Hollywood chick would do while driving--put on her make-up. And, to my surprise, it does shave off about ten minutes from your "getting ready" time. It also increases the chance of death from not paying attention to the road, but just like any LA resident, I was going to value vanity over my own life.

Day 3

My one new thing a day in LA is getting increasingly easier. 30 Day LA for me is not about going to a new trendy restaurant or bar a day, but being able to survive in a city where people actually think that they can escape the police by initiating a car chase. It's like they think they can get away. You can never get away! Since this city is all about speed, the one new thing that I tried to do today was try to actually relax. I live in Hollywood, where normal people and prostitutes commingle together like yellow and brown M&M's in a bag. The good part about Hollywood is that the views of the city are amazing. So, I went up to the rooftop pool and had a smoke amongst the smog. I overlooked downtown LA, the Hollywood Hills, and I realized that only in this crazy kamikaze place can I have a view of both The Hills where druglords dwell in their 50 million dollar homes and also catch a glimpse of the blinking Hollywood lights and Downtown LA. Of course, I also got a good view of the moon which burned red in the middle of the night like the depths of hell. But when the red moon sunk low enough into smog where I couldn't see it anymore, I felt lucky to be there. Single, young, and getting to start my career where so many other people have come to "make it." And then I felt sad, because I wouldn't be able to enjoy it since the smog was gonna kill me, well that or I really am in the depths of hell--the moon burns red! That can't be good.

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I'm hitting the ground running. I've just been passed the torch to document my new adventures in LA. So far, after being a Los Angelican for a month, I can't seem to get passed the constant sound of the ghetto bird, the sirens, the bum fights, the crack whores, or the silent scowls of the rich and famous. But, if my friend is right, and there is a way to navigate through life in LA without being killed by some crazy hood-rich asshole in an Aston Martin, then I am ready to find it.

Day 1 was filled with cookies, kiwis, and cream, oh my! I went to the ever popular and trendy Pinkberry on Melrose. Since I've been here before, I decided that instead of getting something that was tasty and sweet, I would make the most offensive blend of fruit and sugar I could possibly think of. And if it did magically still taste good, then all my myths would be confirmed-- that Pinkberry did indeed have magic sprinkles in that white whipped cream. Magic it is, for only that can explain how kiwis, Captain Crunch, and Oreo could possibly ever taste good together. All three in one bite was a combo of sugar upon sugar, upon more piles of sugar and of course those really annoying black seeds that get caught in your teeth. Heaven. Highly recommended.

Oh, but it doesn't stop there. What does Pinkberry have anything to do with the movie "Big?" you may ask? Well, nothing. But do you remember that kid that turned into Tom Hanks in the movie? Well, neither do I. But nevertheless, he was there too, enjoying his fruity dessert and shelling out bad one-liners in the hopes that he could cash in on his fame as once being the kid that turned into Tom Hanks in the movie Big. Captain Crunch and being hit on by a D-lister; all in all, not a bad day in LA. If this is a sign of the 30 days ahead, I'll have to strap myself in cause I have a feeling in LA, I won't have to look far for adventure. Adventure will surely come to me.

Posted by Phancee at 1:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)