Dating in LA. Seems like a daunting proposition, especially for a long-timer in the single scene. Notice I said single, not singles. LA is supposed to be full of beautiful women, dating is supposed to be great. Yeah, I counter, but only if you’re rich. You seem to be doing fine with the ladies. Drunkenly chasing after girls that I’ve known for years doesn’t really count. So, what is it that keeps you from dating? I don’t know. I’d like to say it’s because I don’t really try, which isn’t totally true, or that I haven’t met anyone I find interesting, but that’s just an excuse. I don’t know really. Basically, you can look either look at it like I’m a single dude in LA enjoying the carefree life with lotsa good friends and copious amounts of Patron, Jack Daniels, and my closest friend Captain Morgan, or that I have zero game and females find me abrasive and lacking in desirability.
But that’s what 30 Date LA is supposed to change, right?
When the idea of this social experiment came up, I thought it was a great idea for some of my friends to participate in it. But not for me. I no longer have a burning desire to get my ego and sense of self-worth destroyed. Dating in LA, no thanks.
But then, the strangest setup for my first 30 Date LA adventure happened. Less than a month ago, an online acquaintance through Yelp had discovered our blog and messaged me to say she (along with her cousin) would be interested in participating in the project by going on a semi-blind double date with me and one of the other contributors. I wondered if they were going to have their other cousin, BigScaryTattooMan, hide out in the alley and clobber us with a bat to filch our fancy cellphones. Yeah, that would be just as random as a semi-blind double date setup through Yelp. But I figured worse things could happen, so I might as well go for it. Now I needed to find a willing partner in crime for the double date. Irwin, who once declared that he had anti-game, said he was down to try something new.
A few pleasant electronic text messages later and the double date was a go. Lucky Strike in Hollywood. 8PM. Wednesday night. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. This double date was gonna rock. Fuck. My car needed a wash. I needed new shoes and new clothes. My hair was long and scraggly. What if I smell? What if she doesn’t like my face? Shit man, I was totally screwed. My zero game plus Irwin’s anti-game would probably make up for some rollicking good times, like getting punched in the enlarged bladder after an 8 hour nonstop diet of diet cherry Dr. Pepper and World of Warcraft.
So, in order to cover all my bases, I decided to spend as much money as possible to prepare for this semi-blind double date with some random girls I met online. I had not realized what a dork I truly was until that point. A tour of the South Bay through Bay Cities carwash, Nordstrom Rack, David R.’s barbershop, CVS pharmacy, along with a facial reconstruction surgery* later, I was good to go.
On Wednesday night, Irwin and I first went to Café Brasil to have a chill dinner and let the conversation flow before we met up with the girls. The food was absolutely delicious and the setting was quite intimate, too bad we weren’t on the date yet. I sensed that Irwin didn’t have high expectations for the date, so I tried to adjust my own accordingly. On the drive to Lucky Strike, we talked about our future, how we hoped to accomplished our goals through graduate school, and how much things have changed since we first met in college yet they somehow seemed to remain the same.
As far as the date, it was fun. Right when I met the girls, I knew I had no reason to be nervous or self-conscious. They cracked jokes, acted goofy, and declared their approval of Lucky Strike’s overall faux-trendiness. We did get to hear some interesting stories from our dates. Irwin’s date won a dancing competition at a gay bar before, and my date came to America with a coyote. I thought at first she said in a coyote, then she said with a coyote, and then I thought, how the hell does one border cross IN a coyote you goddamn stupid fucking idiot. Meanwhile, both of them completely outbowled me, but Irwin did manage to hold it down for the male pride.
Now bowling is both a good idea and a bad idea for a first date. Good because it’s a relaxing atmosphere and you can turn it into a competition or a buddy-team thing, depending on your disposition. However, it can get a bit jarring. Instead of speed dating it’s like ADHD dating.
“So what do…”
“Your turn!”
“My turn!”
“How did you…”
“Oh yeah time for a strike, I’m gonna catch up to you now!”
So while we didn’t really get a chance to talk to each other that much in depth, we did manage to enjoy each other’s company without any awkwardness. Couldn’t have asked for a smoother first semi-blind online double-date.
Two big surprises of the night:
1. Irwin was on fire. Throwing down the comedy, displaying his smooth charm, and revealing his witty confidence. When my date first threw a strike, he crossed his arms in the air, palms facing outward, and yelled “Strike Clap!” We were all doing that for the rest of the night. Most impressive.
2. The girls are self-proclaimed masters at Tekken. Incredible. Not to show my true nerd roots, but I spent most of my first year in college playing Tekken 3 with my roommate and his friends. I declared that as good at Tekken as they might think they may be, there was no way they could defeat me. With the challenge issued, I thought I had hopefully laid the groundwork to ask for a second date.
So the date ended a short two hours after it started, and we hugged the girls goodbye in the labyrinth-like Hollywood and Highland parking structure. We took the escalator down one more floor to where we parked. I looked at Irwin and said, that was fun. He shrugged, smiled, and said, yeah it was. We walked to the car in silence, not having to say anything else. Maybe dating in LA isn't that bad after all.
* I actually did have jaw surgery recently, but that wasn’t until after the double-date.